My World Population Me

Today a friend of mine was discussing a certain bar that shall go unnamed because the bar itself had nothing to do with this dilemma but regardless I went there and instantly saw myself getting checked out by a young man with a moustachio. I sat down having a drink when this particular gentleman walked by me and decided to throw this move out there, he walked past, penis facing me (in his pants of course) and as he graced by raised up on his tippy toes and rested his penis on my knee while walking by in a penis ledge swoosh motion. Now, I have to give him credit because he was suave, ol slick rick trying to pull a fast one on me, but little does he know I invented that move. Ok, so maybe I’m lying, but you need to be a fucking stealth assassin to pull a fast one like that on me. I shrugged it off and walked over to the bar to get another drink. While standing at the bar this same young man came back from the restroom and of course deciding between dick or ass gave me the dick pass and leaned in a little too close giving me a dabble of dick rub. It was then I decided to call it quits and leave the bar never to return.

My friends chuckled at my misfortunes but this isn’t the first time, nor do I expect it to be the last. Just the other day while vintage game shopping I went to stop by a pawn shop where this gay gent often throws me glances. It was closed so I went to the shop a couple of stores down and I guess that one belongs to his parents because he was in there and due to the fact there was narrow aisle space he had the opportunity to walk by, give me the knob and throw out a solid penis rub.

There’s nothing you can do to prep, except maybe wear one of those joke handshake shockers on your ass, HAHA, that would be amazing, but very very unpractical. Back to the drawing board.

Also, I’ve noticed traffic is drastically increasing which is amazing and astonishing for this blog and it’s encouraging me to stay at this now that I have a new working computer. That said, if any porno production companies are reading this and want to make an assload of cash please contact me!