Archive for December, 2008
Imagination.
Aren’t imaginations awesome?!? I still like to think I have the imagination of a 5 year old, others might call it THIS. I was thinking about a long time ago when I woke up and swore I heard jingle bells on X-mas eve in the middle of the night, it was freaky when I found out years later my parents actually did not do it to add to the drama of things. I also thought about a time when I was 9-10 years old and saw the Easter Bunny outside my window waving! It was so real, I saw him and he moved away from my window and I ran up the stairs, almost ripped the front door off its hinges and searched like a muther who loses her child at an amusement park for him. I never found him, I was crushed. Looking back, I either had a really crazy imagination…actually did show starting signs of schizophrenia or maybe it was THIS…
…or a pedophile who lures children using a friendly costume of a bunny while he peeps in their bed room windows… no one will ever know. I wish I found him instead of waking up in the bushes, I must have fallen or something.
Facial hair.
Today I was speaking with friends about facial hair and my lack there of. I am not a man’s man, if you look up burly in the dictionary you will NOT find me, try the-un-burliest-ever. Sometimes it bums me out I cannot pull of the log driver look, it would be fun! I could suddenly go from looking 12 to 35-40 (ok maybe late 20′s for me), I could eat foods and have funny crumbs all over my face, look like a wizard, santa (with dye), fu manchu and oh so much more. I think the King of Hearts felt the same way, he was the only King who did not rock a moustache, he has a decent beard (which is more than I can grow) but I guess it got to the guy so bad he committed suicide over it:
Someone's a little extreme!
dog farts.
this post is not about dog farts, but the dog farted on me as I started to write this and it’s screwing with my brain, similar to how villains use something to scramble a heroes equipment to stop them from using gadgets to catch them.
First I thought I would be writing about something to do with how no matter what kind of gum it is I suck the flavour out of it within a minute, but the sucking skills struck a thought (we all know where this is going) but it made me wonder if I was a girl would these skills relate to my blowjob giving abilities. I know I know, I don’t have to be a girl to make that possible, but it was the first thing I thought of, which lead me to wonder how I might be at other girl related activities. Like having a period, I think I would be a miserable bitch! I would, I think I would be whiney, just feel like it would be a day ruiner for me. What other girl acts..hmm..oh, cooking, I think I would be good at cooking. Haha syke, I’m just kidding. But say giving birthday, that cannot be fun..even though I’m thinking of it in the perspective of me being a woman, I still imagine the child coming out of my penis. The devil should make that happen in hell, I heard passing a kidney stone is utter shit so imagine that.
If I was a mother and developed Postpartum depression I think I’d end my child’s life by punting it off a bridge. I don’t know why but I always feel like punting a young child if I see one in public. I’m sure this will come back to haunt me when I have a child one day but until then, take that sucka’s! Anywho, I think I would be a sad, annoying, whiney & insecure girl, so I’ll stick to being a boy.
- If I were a girl i’d be raped too..did a test run, was raped, not a good start.
cheers to http://sidewayshatpat.wordpress.com for the photo!