Hover boards.
When I was a child all I ever wanted to do was invent the hover board. Yes, I know they exist, but they suck! I’m talking about Flash Fucking Gordon type, wizzing around the sky like a bird type hoverboard, none of this sissy shit. I tried so hard thinking of idea’s I could make it happen, like looking into the earths magnetic field and creating something that would propel me up like when you put two magnets with the same charge towards each other and it repels but alas nothing.
One day while deep in slumber I had the most magnificant dream I’ve ever had, I was in my neighbourhood and I jumped on my hoverboard and blasted around the sky! Over houses, around the tree’s, soaring faster than birds around me! It was magejestical!!!!!…and then I woke up.
This was the first time in my life I ever had experienced suicidal tendencies. I was legitimately the saddest boy on earth. I tasted the sweetest most purest form of happiness and like a herion addict without drugs I crashed and I crashed hard.
Honestly, why are we wasting time curing stupid diseases, making more fuel efficient cards, creating new ways to help the environment..these are a waste of time. Instead let’s make hover boards so we can fly around happy and end things on a good note. Someone please end this massive void in my life, I think I’ll write to Childrens wish fund and put that in as my one request.
give me a fucking break.