My World Population Me

Archive for November, 2008

Today while waiting in line for my bagel I got an idea how great and obnoxious/condescending it would be to use a laser pointer in your day to day activities. I used it to show people where things were at work, tell people to stop doing something (like using their phone) and more. Tomorrow I plan to order my bagel with it, I’m going to point at my garlic bagel with it and say “I want that one” and since they screw up every day what I’d like on it I’ll use it to point out “that one (lettuce), that one (cucumbers), that one (red pepper) & that one (green peppers)….OH! and those (salt & pepper)” all with a red dot. I want to judge peoples reactions, I have a feeling they won’t be positive.

I’ll share my results tomorrow.

Here’s other great things you can buy for $1 at the Dollar store:

Metal engraver: Yup, you can buy a metal engraver at the Dollar Store for all your engraving needs.

Pregnancy Test: You can ACTUALLY buy a pregnancy test from the dollar store! Because believe it or not low income DO have sex and SOMETIMES produce babies…mind blowing. You can pick up your own at your local Dollar Store.

if it shows + just spend another buck and buy a coat hanger

There are stores around the city that offer any kind of print on a shirt for $35 give or take. I wonder how far you can take that…

Could you get a shirt made that degrades women? thats extremely racist? prejudice? etc? Would they ACTUALLY print it? The sign out front says ANYTHING.

Or what about this, you ask the owner to make you a shirt that says “I hereby sign over my entire store and all of its belongings to “your name here”, signed “owners signature” “date”. That way it’s a legal document which can be used in a court of law that gives you ownership to a store for the price of $35. If he/she refuses to make the shirt sue them for false advertising, its win/win.

i saw this tonight and absolutely loved it.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICp4g9p_rgo]

I love vampires. They are so bad ass and their fashion sense generally rules in movies. Do you think a vampire gets Hep B if they bite someone with it?

Would you rather be a vampire, werewolf or zombie?

I wonder why they do not talk about Jesus’ teenage or young adult years at all in the bible. I bet like most youth out there he had his rebellious stage. I know a couple of pastors/priests/ministers out there and generally their kids were more misbehaved then your average kid and I’d like to think that this was also the case for Jesus. What other reason could there be why they just skipped the whole thing, not a single note of mention!

I bet when they were writing the bible they were like:

Paul: “Ok gang, so we’ll talk about Jesus coming out of his virgin mother, we’ll skip ahead past his young boy years, nothing exciting there, next is …umm..oh..right..”

Matthew: “what is it Paul? what do we include next?”

Paul: “oh nothing, just the teenage years, we can skip those”

Matthew: “no Paul, what happened? they might be crucial in spreading the good word of the lord”

Paul: “nah, it’s just..you know, the usual crazy teenager kind of thing..caught with his first porno..first time he was grounded for smoking marijuana…that time we found him passed out in the opiate fields looking like Adam and a whore that looked like Eve..”

Matthew: “oh…right..lets turn a blind eye & skip all of that, we’ll go right to his 30′s”.

Paul: “deal.”

sweet jesus he

Credit to Tyson for showing me this video:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SxigNvJxGn4]

I thoroughly enjoy this commercial:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7YPm9_bZ7U]

After watching it Ashley said “They are showing how nothing hurts when you get drunk”. She is a clever one.

I wish more then anything that we could have super powers. Like every child I wished SOOOOOO bad I could fly, control things with my mind, breathe under water, etc etc. I think a problem I have is I never shook it. I STILL wish I could have these powers every day & it saddens me we won’t.

I was laying with the misses and every time we get comfortable she falls asleep from the comfort/heat. She said I was using my powers on her…I came to the conclusion I only have two powers:

1) If i’m ever in trouble I can cuddle the person and within 15 minutes they will be sleeping. Very useful when you are being mugged or your home is being broken in to.

2) I can bend things with my mind.

Well, strictly the truth. We have not evolved nearly enough, it’s so depressing.

Speaking of super powers, i was with someone once who was beyond drunk, took us forever to get home and suddenly they stopped, stared at a car and put their hand out and while making “swoosh” noises lifted the car with their mind and smashed it into the ground with explosion sounds. It was definitely in my top 25 favorite moments of life.

take THAT! super powers ignite!

Today I was talking about what it would be like to win the jackpot in a lottery! Could you IMAGINE winning one of those American Superball lotteries? They can sometimes be over $100,000,000!! Pure insanity. Anyways, one thing I would TOTALLY do with the money is pay for someone to read me bed time stories and who better to do that than David Attenborough! How heavenly would that be? His voice so calm and soothing, it’s like an audio massage:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgYalGgyLJ4]

who would be your story teller if you could get one?

This is probably one of the best dances in the world, if this was on “so you think you can dance” i’m sure it would win gold…if they offered medals. Here’s one reason out of the thousands why Hot Rod is one of the best comedies in ages:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9KyFUS77C8c]

related to this movie, here’s another appreciation for Andy Samberg from TheLonelyIsland, one of the best rap songs ever made:

The Heist – The Lonely Island (Incredibad)

I spoke about making a dance DVD one day, I really think I should get started on that soon. To everyone who has been waiting for this, it’s coming maybe haha, I’ve got a couple of inventions I need to launch first! Details on those coming in the future..

*sadly it won’t be the hover board like my childhood dream..i once dreamt i made it and whizzed around my neighborhood, when I woke up it was literally one of the saddest days of my life. le sigh.

I

I’ve never tried this game, but it looks funny. I have a hard enough time with my own life I couldn’t imagine trying to run a second one. This computer based game has people, well, living a second life. They work, live life, make money, meet friends, etc etc etc. Schools started teaching in the game with programs like English & Chemistry, Religions created meeting places, Embassies help people with information about Visa’s, citizenship, etc and more.

I feel like they should use this to let anyone live any kind of life they want. This could help people get their crazy urges out without taking it out on people in real life! If you wanted to see what it would be like to run someone over, put the pedal to the metal! Rape? Why not!? School shooting? Unleash the fury. I do not encourage any of these things happen at all, BUT, if you have a massive urge and think you’re going to commit the awful act then do it in your second life! Sometimes when I get really angry I need to just vent and get it out of my system! These monsters should do the same! I’ve gotta peace and hit my girlfriend….ugh..in my second life…

I wonder why people play this game..